When Gong Qin first learned to say “mama,” his mother had already returned to France.
This half-Chinese, half-French woman couldn’t stand her husband’s infidelity, and left without even taking her son.
From childhood, Gong Qin was expected to be exceptional.
Not just ordinarily good, but astonishingly, almost unnaturally outstanding for his age.
He always ranked first in every exam, met every demand his father set, and eventually surpassed his father, taking his place.
His extreme self-discipline made his life as still and stagnant as a dead pond.
The only surprise in his life was He Ling.
He burst into Gong Qin’s world out of nowhere, like a blade of golden sunlight that slashed through the monotony, flooding everything with dazzling light.
Gong Qin had never met anyone so radiant, so free.
They were complete opposites—light and shadow, black and white.
Gong Qin liked him, liked everything about him.
Because all those things were what he longed for but could never have.
When He Ling confessed his feelings to him—
For the first time in his life, Gong Qin experienced what joy really felt like.
After they got married, every day felt like a dream for Gong Qin.
He Ling would kiss him in the morning when he woke up.
He’d kiss him again before leaving the house.
At lunch, He Ling would always find him so they could eat together.
Even in the afternoons, He Ling would leave work early just to be with him.
Gong Qin had never imagined someone could live as freely as He Ling did—doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
He Ling’s love was like the blazing sun, wrapping Gong Qin up and bringing him a warmth he’d never known.
Gong Qin was used to being alone, so suddenly sharing his life with someone brought a lot of discomfort.
He wasn’t used to talking during meals, but he tried to chat with He Ling, even if all he could manage was boring talk about work.
He wasn’t used to public displays of affection, but he’d let He Ling kiss him in the car where the driver couldn’t see.
He wasn’t used to sharing a bath, but after He Ling insisted twice, Gong Qin had a square bathtub installed so they wouldn’t be crowded together.
He didn’t like He Ling goofing off in the office, but after He Ling did it twice, Gong Qin replaced the single bed in the break room with a double.
Sometimes, Gong Qin thought He Ling was too willful.
But he couldn’t help but smile—
He envied that willfulness. If he could, he wished He Ling could live that way forever.
He just never expected that one day, He Ling’s willfulness would mean not wanting him anymore.
Gong Qin didn’t know what had happened, didn’t know how things had come to this.
They’d been together for seven years—never had a real fight, never had a falling out, never been apart.
He’d gotten used to it.
Used to the morning kisses, the goodbye kisses, seeing He Ling at lunch and in the afternoon.
But suddenly, all of it was gone.
He couldn’t pinpoint when it started, but He Ling changed.
Gong Qin, sensitive as ever, noticed He Ling’s growing distance, his watchful eyes, the way he seemed to be scrutinizing him.
It made Gong Qin feel like he was walking on pins and needles, his nerves stretched taut.
He hadn’t felt this way in a long time—not since meeting He Ling, not since getting married.
It was like someone was watching him, controlling him from afar.
He hated that feeling. He wanted to talk to He Ling.
He came home early, sat and waited, forcing himself to do nothing but wait for He Ling to return.
But time kept passing, and He Ling came home later and later.
What could he do?
A deep, suffocating fear gripped Gong Qin’s heart, dragging him into a dark abyss.
Until one day, he saw He Ling with a young man.
In that instant, Gong Qin understood.
He Ling hadn’t changed—he was still the same, still did whatever he wanted—
He just didn’t want Gong Qin anymore, and just as freely, had fallen for someone else.
When He Ling asked for a divorce…
Gong Qin wasn’t surprised. He’d known all along this was bound to happen.
He Ling had probably struggled to bring it up for a long time.
Gong Qin didn’t want to force him.
He’d always been alone; there was no need to become a burden.
Gong Qin left, walking into the freezing snow, walking through seven years of memories.
And then—
He broke down.
He couldn’t take another step; his legs refused to move.
The memory of them walking hand in hand, side by side, was the final straw that crushed him.
Why?
Why?
Why did it have to be this way?
If you can’t stay true to one person, why make a promise of forever?
He’d believed it was real, but He Ling changed just like that.
Gong Qin felt a chill that cut to the bone, as if he’d returned to that snowy night, watching his mother leave, helplessly calling out for her.
Back then, Gong Qin had learned that nothing he begged for would ever come to him.
No matter how loudly he called, no matter how hard he tried, it was useless.
He was an adult now. He wasn’t that helpless child anymore, and he wouldn’t beg for warmth that was never meant for him.
But—
He still couldn’t accept it.
Even knowing it was pointless, even knowing he’d end up battered and bruised, even knowing he’d lose the last shred of his dignity—
When Gong Qin saw He Ling, he still broke through the chains around his heart and asked, “…Why don’t you want me anymore?”
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