“How could I ever hate you…” Shen Yu’s voice was full of helplessness.
He might have resented him, blamed him, gotten angry at his teasing—but hating him was impossible.
Lin Hao’s lips trembled as he looked up at Shen Yu. “You really…”
Meeting his gaze, Shen Yu felt tiny sparks flicker to life in the ashes of his heart. He didn’t dare think too much. “I love you. That feeling hasn’t changed at all.”
Lin Hao gazed at him, wide-eyed. “You really…”
Shen Yu let out a slow breath. “Lin Hao, for the sake of our friendship, please don’t torment me anymore.”
Lin Hao fell silent.
Shen Yu finally let his gaze linger, almost greedily taking in Lin Hao’s face. His voice softened, “When someone confesses like this, you should just reject them outright, not drag things out. You know my personality—I don’t joke, I don’t play around. Every word I say, I mean.”
Lin Hao’s heart was pounding. “I know. I know you’re not like me.”
It was exactly because Shen Yu always meant what he said that Lin Hao had been so devastated when he heard him say he hated him.
Lin Hao was all talk, but Shen Yu was a man of his word.
Everyone who knew them understood: if Lin Hao said something, you’d lose if you took it seriously; if Shen Yu said something, he’d mean it for life.
Shen Yu let go of the cold mask he’d worn since their reunion, and the old indulgence he’d always shown Lin Hao returned. “So just stay away from me. Don’t give me any more hope…”
“But I…” Lin Hao interrupted, “I don’t want to leave you.”
Shen Yu froze.
Lin Hao stammered, his usually bold mouth suddenly stuck as if glued shut, “I don’t want to leave you. These four years, I’ve regretted it every day—regretted being stupid, regretted leaving the country, regretted being apart from you…”
“Lin Hao!” Shen Yu cut him off, “I told you, don’t give me hope.”
Lin Hao fell silent.
A long, heavy silence filled the dim room at one in the morning.
Both of them were in pajamas, with tired eyes, but neither could sleep.
No matter how much Shen Yu tried to stop it, the fire inside him had already caught, burning his once-dry heart into a raging blaze.
He wanted this—he couldn’t help it.
Even the smallest sliver of hope, he wanted it.
Shen Yu finally spoke, his voice softer and more vulnerable than ever. “You… you really don’t want to leave me?”
Lin Hao shook his head quickly, his short, messy blond hair bouncing like rays of sunlight.
Shen Yu’s throat tightened. “Even knowing how I feel about you, you still don’t want to leave?”
Lin Hao said nothing.
Shen Yu’s heart plummeted. He forced a laugh, his eyes suddenly cold. “So you want things to go back to how they were? After everything that happened, after my confession, you still want to just be brothers, just be friends?”
Lin Hao clutched his pillow so tightly his knuckles turned white.
Shen Yu felt the same crushing despair as before, his voice growing colder. “Fine, Lin Hao. I love you, but I’m not—”
“I don’t know.” Lin Hao finally spoke, “I never imagined you’d love… love me. I never thought about that kind of feeling. But I…”
Shen Yu’s world went dark, his heart feeling like it had been pierced through. Of course—Lin Hao had never thought about it, never loved him, just as he’d always known.
But Lin Hao looked up and finished, “But I don’t hate it.”
Shen Yu froze.
Lin Hao grabbed his hand tightly. “Shen Yu, let’s try it. Let’s… let’s try being together.”
He spoke in fits and starts, but every word landed right on Shen Yu’s heart.
“I know this isn’t the best way to say it,” Lin Hao admitted, “but I’ve never liked anyone before, and I don’t even know what it means to like someone. Let’s try it. Maybe you don’t really love me either… mmph—”
Before he could finish, his back hit the wall and Shen Yu was on him, pressing their lips together in a kiss.
Chapter 08
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