Fish-Fragrant Shredded Pork with Tofu - Chapter 1
My name is Lin Yichen.
I'm a grown man, but unfortunately, I have a baby face. In the entertainment industry, that means I get typecast and can't land any decent roles.
With my pitiful income, even a Pinduoduo sale could bankrupt me.
I survive by playing minor characters, barely scraping by.
One night, after a wrap party for a drama shoot, I got drunk and ended up bringing home a man who couldn't remember anything.
The next morning...
I woke up to find this man clinging to me like a koala. I wanted to kick him off the bed.
Maybe it's because I haven't dated in ages, but even a random guy seemed handsome to me.
He had sun-kissed muscles all over, making me look like a kept boy in comparison.
My manager, Qiao Nan, had tried to talk some sense into me more than once:
"Bro, why don't you try a different path? You'd make more money letting rich ladies sponsor you at a nightclub than you do now."
I asked the man, "What's your name?"
"I don't know," he replied.
"Where do you live?"
"I don't know."
"You..."
"I..."
Forget it.
I tried to take him to the police, but he clung to my arm and refused to go.
Left with no choice, I let him stay at my place for the time being.
Having another mouth to feed only made my already tight budget worse.
I started shaking the dirt off scallions before buying them.
I licked the yogurt lid clean.
I used the bathroom without turning on the lights.
"Sigh," I muttered, staring at the nearly empty fridge.
"Stop moping around all day. Makes you look even shorter," he quipped.
I nearly choked on my own breath.
"I'm out there hustling, working odd jobs to support us both. Do you think money grows on trees?"
He grinned, "No, your money doesn't grow on trees, but it sure seems to fly away with the wind. Your wallet's empty, your WeChat's empty, your Alipay's empty, even your credit line's maxed out. You're broke in every possible way." He patted my shoulder, trying to comfort me. "Don't worry. Once I get my memory back, I'll pay you back for all this sponsorship."
I corrected him, "Sponsorship? I'm just letting you crash here for a few days."
I actually believed he could pay me back.
The day I found him, even though he looked down and out, everything he wore was global limited edition.
That's also why I took him in.
This man ate my food, wore my clothes, used my things.
He even stripped in front of me to take a shower.
Eight-pack abs, broad shoulders, narrow waist.
I swallowed hard and turned away, chanting in my head: "he's just a man, he's just a man."
He caught my gaze and smirked, "Like what you see?"
I froze.
The next second, I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, gritting my teeth, "Get out. I'm a man too."
And that wasn't all.
This big guy was afraid of thunder.
Whenever it rained, he'd sneak into my room, climb into my bed, and hug me while he slept.
I tried to push him away. "Bro, don't you think it's awkward for two guys to share a bed?"
He didn't answer, just hugged my arm tighter.
I kicked him off and warned him to stay out of my room.
Gradually, his true colors started to show.
One night, half-asleep, I suddenly felt someone nibbling on my neck.
My heart skipped a beat.
Crap.
I've watched enough zombie movies to know where this is going.
But then, as my body tingled with a strange sensation, I heard him whisper in my ear, "Baby, call me husband."
Only then did I realize what was happening.
I roared, "Dude, I'm a man! How could I possibly call you husband ?"
His eyes turned red, and he pouted, "Why can't two men be together?"
I couldn't answer, so I rolled over and started scrolling on my phone.
Suddenly, I saw a trending topic.
# Emerald Sky Entertainment is searching for their missing superstar, who disappeared during a skydive. Reward: 10 million yuan#
The man in the attached photo looked more and more familiar.
Holy crap, isn't this the guy I picked up?
I glanced at the naked man beside me, deep in thought.
Finally, fortune has smiled upon me.
He noticed me staring and grinned, "Falling for me, are you?"
Sir,
I do like you.
I like your ten million yuan.
I like this windfall.
Seeing you smile really does make me happy.
So I asked, "Honey, what color sack do you prefer?"
His eyes flickered, and he asked hoarsely, "What, are you trying to play hard to get?"
Of course, only a rich young master could think like that.
He stretched out on the bed, looking completely at my mercy. "Actually, you don't need a sack at all."
I sighed.
Do you know what helplessness feels like?
"Play hard to get? I'm about to tie you up for real."
The next moment, I knocked him out, stuffed him in a sack, and delivered him to Emerald Sky Entertainment in the middle of the night.
Afterwards, photos of superstar Guo Zeyan, tied up and delivered to Emerald Sky Entertainment in the middle of the night, went viral online for days.
I thought I'd take the money and disappear.
Too bad my contract still had six months left.
I couldn't afford the penalty for breaking it.
So, I had to keep muddling through in showbiz for another half year.
My manager, Qiao Nan, miraculously landed me a spot on a dating reality show.
The format was simple: get randomly paired with a partner and complete intimacy challenges.
But the whole process was filmed from every angle and it was live.
My partner was Lin Qianyu, a sultry beauty and rising star in the industry.
On the first day, we had to interact in a hot spring, both in swimsuits.
Lin Qianyu wore a revealing black one-piece, oozing sex appeal.
I was so embarrassed that my blushing face became a meme on the live stream.
Gossiping netizens laughed at how innocent I was ,Lin Yichen, a grown man, blushing at the sight of a woman.
Suddenly, a comment popped up among the barrage of messages:
[You weren't this shy when you were under me.]
The chat exploded.
[Isn't that the cool, aloof superstar Guo Zeyan? He commented from his main account!]
Viewership skyrocketed.
Everyone assumed he was talking about Lin Qianyu.
[Wow, so Guo Zeyan likes girls like Lin Qianyu.]
[Can't believe we're witnessing the superstar fall in love on camera.]
[The untouchable Guo Zeyan is finally off his pedestal.]
[Anyone would lose control if Guo Zeyan was on top of them.]
[I always thought Guo Zeyan was gay, though...]
You guys are wrong.
Your superstar is, in fact, gay.
And the one he was on top of was me.
What was supposed to be a low-key reality show for exposure suddenly shot to the top of the trending charts, all because of Guo Zeyan's surprise appearance.
#Superstar Guo Zeyan Joins Dating Show for Love#
The internet was abuzz.
[No way, Guo Zeyan always looked down on these kinds of shows.]
[Lin Qianyu must mean a lot to him.]
[Guo Zeyan is personally chasing after his love interest. Poor Lin Yichen, his on-screen partner, is out of luck.]
[Only Lin Yichen's world gets hurt.]
Honestly, my mental state was hanging by a thread.
Lin Qianyu was more than happy to ride the wave, using Guo Zeyan's fame to boost her own status.
She never thought much of me, a small-time actor.
After netizens started shipping her with Guo Zeyan, she practically "announced" their relationship on Weibo.
[My hubby treats me so well he couldn't let me join the dating show alone.]
Fans flooded the comments with envy.
[Didn't expect Guo Zeyan to be such a doting boyfriend.]
[With our Qianyu, Guo Zeyan must be so happy.]
[Guys, this is a match made in heaven, the chemistry is off the charts]
And of course, there were those who used the chance to put me down.
[Lin Yichen is too innocent. Guo Zeyan is way more attractive.]
[Are you crazy? Comparing Lin Yichen to Guo Zeyan?]
Me: "?"
Taking a hit for no reason.
Minding my own business, and drama still finds me.
Then, that night, Guo Zeyan posted a clarification on Weibo:
[Stop calling me your hubby. My real partner gets jealous, and then I have to coax him.]
My name is Lin Yichen.
I'm a grown man, but unfortunately, I have a baby face. In the entertainment industry, that means I get typecast and can't land any decent roles.
With my pitiful income, even a Pinduoduo sale could bankrupt me.
I survive by playing minor characters, barely scraping by.
One night, after a wrap party for a drama shoot, I got drunk and ended up bringing home a man who couldn't remember anything.
The next morning...
I woke up to find this man clinging to me like a koala. I wanted to kick him off the bed.
Maybe it's because I haven't dated in ages, but even a random guy seemed handsome to me.
He had sun-kissed muscles all over, making me look like a kept boy in comparison.
My manager, Qiao Nan, had tried to talk some sense into me more than once:
"Bro, why don't you try a different path? You'd make more money letting rich ladies sponsor you at a nightclub than you do now."
I asked the man, "What's your name?"
"I don't know," he replied.
"Where do you live?"
"I don't know."
"You..."
"I..."
Forget it.
I tried to take him to the police, but he clung to my arm and refused to go.
Left with no choice, I let him stay at my place for the time being.
Having another mouth to feed only made my already tight budget worse.
I started shaking the dirt off scallions before buying them.
I licked the yogurt lid clean.
I used the bathroom without turning on the lights.
"Sigh," I muttered, staring at the nearly empty fridge.
"Stop moping around all day. Makes you look even shorter," he quipped.
I nearly choked on my own breath.
"I'm out there hustling, working odd jobs to support us both. Do you think money grows on trees?"
He grinned, "No, your money doesn't grow on trees, but it sure seems to fly away with the wind. Your wallet's empty, your WeChat's empty, your Alipay's empty, even your credit line's maxed out. You're broke in every possible way." He patted my shoulder, trying to comfort me. "Don't worry. Once I get my memory back, I'll pay you back for all this sponsorship."
I corrected him, "Sponsorship? I'm just letting you crash here for a few days."
I actually believed he could pay me back.
The day I found him, even though he looked down and out, everything he wore was global limited edition.
That's also why I took him in.
This man ate my food, wore my clothes, used my things.
He even stripped in front of me to take a shower.
Eight-pack abs, broad shoulders, narrow waist.
I swallowed hard and turned away, chanting in my head: "he's just a man, he's just a man."
He caught my gaze and smirked, "Like what you see?"
I froze.
The next second, I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, gritting my teeth, "Get out. I'm a man too."
And that wasn't all.
This big guy was afraid of thunder.
Whenever it rained, he'd sneak into my room, climb into my bed, and hug me while he slept.
I tried to push him away. "Bro, don't you think it's awkward for two guys to share a bed?"
He didn't answer, just hugged my arm tighter.
I kicked him off and warned him to stay out of my room.
Gradually, his true colors started to show.
One night, half-asleep, I suddenly felt someone nibbling on my neck.
My heart skipped a beat.
Crap.
I've watched enough zombie movies to know where this is going.
But then, as my body tingled with a strange sensation, I heard him whisper in my ear, "Baby, call me husband."
Only then did I realize what was happening.
I roared, "Dude, I'm a man! How could I possibly call you husband ?"
His eyes turned red, and he pouted, "Why can't two men be together?"
I couldn't answer, so I rolled over and started scrolling on my phone.
Suddenly, I saw a trending topic.
# Emerald Sky Entertainment is searching for their missing superstar, who disappeared during a skydive. Reward: 10 million yuan#
The man in the attached photo looked more and more familiar.
Holy crap, isn't this the guy I picked up?
I glanced at the naked man beside me, deep in thought.
Finally, fortune has smiled upon me.
He noticed me staring and grinned, "Falling for me, are you?"
Sir,
I do like you.
I like your ten million yuan.
I like this windfall.
Seeing you smile really does make me happy.
So I asked, "Honey, what color sack do you prefer?"
His eyes flickered, and he asked hoarsely, "What, are you trying to play hard to get?"
Of course, only a rich young master could think like that.
He stretched out on the bed, looking completely at my mercy. "Actually, you don't need a sack at all."
I sighed.
Do you know what helplessness feels like?
"Play hard to get? I'm about to tie you up for real."
The next moment, I knocked him out, stuffed him in a sack, and delivered him to Emerald Sky Entertainment in the middle of the night.
Afterwards, photos of superstar Guo Zeyan, tied up and delivered to Emerald Sky Entertainment in the middle of the night, went viral online for days.
I thought I'd take the money and disappear.
Too bad my contract still had six months left.
I couldn't afford the penalty for breaking it.
So, I had to keep muddling through in showbiz for another half year.
My manager, Qiao Nan, miraculously landed me a spot on a dating reality show.
The format was simple: get randomly paired with a partner and complete intimacy challenges.
But the whole process was filmed from every angle and it was live.
My partner was Lin Qianyu, a sultry beauty and rising star in the industry.
On the first day, we had to interact in a hot spring, both in swimsuits.
Lin Qianyu wore a revealing black one-piece, oozing sex appeal.
I was so embarrassed that my blushing face became a meme on the live stream.
Gossiping netizens laughed at how innocent I was ,Lin Yichen, a grown man, blushing at the sight of a woman.
Suddenly, a comment popped up among the barrage of messages:
[You weren't this shy when you were under me.]
The chat exploded.
[Isn't that the cool, aloof superstar Guo Zeyan? He commented from his main account!]
Viewership skyrocketed.
Everyone assumed he was talking about Lin Qianyu.
[Wow, so Guo Zeyan likes girls like Lin Qianyu.]
[Can't believe we're witnessing the superstar fall in love on camera.]
[The untouchable Guo Zeyan is finally off his pedestal.]
[Anyone would lose control if Guo Zeyan was on top of them.]
[I always thought Guo Zeyan was gay, though...]
You guys are wrong.
Your superstar is, in fact, gay.
And the one he was on top of was me.
What was supposed to be a low-key reality show for exposure suddenly shot to the top of the trending charts, all because of Guo Zeyan's surprise appearance.
#Superstar Guo Zeyan Joins Dating Show for Love#
The internet was abuzz.
[No way, Guo Zeyan always looked down on these kinds of shows.]
[Lin Qianyu must mean a lot to him.]
[Guo Zeyan is personally chasing after his love interest. Poor Lin Yichen, his on-screen partner, is out of luck.]
[Only Lin Yichen's world gets hurt.]
Honestly, my mental state was hanging by a thread.
Lin Qianyu was more than happy to ride the wave, using Guo Zeyan's fame to boost her own status.
She never thought much of me, a small-time actor.
After netizens started shipping her with Guo Zeyan, she practically "announced" their relationship on Weibo.
[My hubby treats me so well he couldn't let me join the dating show alone.]
Fans flooded the comments with envy.
[Didn't expect Guo Zeyan to be such a doting boyfriend.]
[With our Qianyu, Guo Zeyan must be so happy.]
[Guys, this is a match made in heaven, the chemistry is off the charts]
And of course, there were those who used the chance to put me down.
[Lin Yichen is too innocent. Guo Zeyan is way more attractive.]
[Are you crazy? Comparing Lin Yichen to Guo Zeyan?]
Me: "?"
Taking a hit for no reason.
Minding my own business, and drama still finds me.
Then, that night, Guo Zeyan posted a clarification on Weibo:
[Stop calling me your hubby. My real partner gets jealous, and then I have to coax him.]
My name is Lin Yichen.
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