After being released from detention, Shen Fang called every tutor to make sure Xu Ni caught up on all missed classes. Then she rushed to the kitchen to prepare meals for Xu Ni. At first, she glared at me, ready to hit. I shook my phone.
"Try me, and I’ll call the police again."
Shen Fang was fuming.
"Give Ni Ni back her phone."
"No. Buy her a new one or she’ll never use one again."
Shen Fang’s face turned red as she pulled Xu Ni aside to interrogate her. Xu Ni shook her head and said nothing.
That only convinced Shen Fang I was up to no good.
But she didn’t dare actually hit me again. Instead, she clutched her chest, muttering, "How did I give birth to such a disaster? You’re lazy and useless and bully Ni Ni. I should have strangled you back then."
With no way to vent her rage, she chose to ignore me. As if I didn’t exist. No food or dishes for me. Even water was moved to Xu Ni’s room.
I shrugged and headed to the balcony, eating toast and a sandwich under the streetlight. From that day on, Shen Fang shut me out completely. If not for fear of gossip, I probably wouldn’t have gotten near the front door.
I didn’t care. Up early for work, back only after dark. The only annoyance was Zhou Wei hanging around like a shadow.
One day it rained hard. At first, the air was stuffy; later, the wind brought a chill.
Leaving the shop, I pulled my collar up, hesitating on how to get home. Zhou Wei held out an umbrella.
"Here, take this."
I pretended not to see and moved aside.
He clicked his tongue.
"Not going home? Or planning to run soaked?"
His brow clouded as I glared back.
"What do you want?"
Zhou Wei’s grip tightened.
"I want to ask you something."
"Why did Xu Ni jump off the building?"
"Xu Si, aren’t you even a little worried?"
"That’s your sister, your blood, your own flesh and bone. She jumped, she tried to end herself, she failed."
"Don’t you want to change things? Don’t you want to save her?"
"You should be by her side, protecting her, taking care of her, not out here making money."
His words landed like thunder, powerful and passionate. So righteous, so heartfelt.
My usual sharp retorts began to dissolve, and I let out a light, mocking laugh.
Zhou Wei froze. He looked a bit confused and a little lost, wanting to say more but unsure how.
Without giving him a chance, I spun around and stormed into the downpour.
The rain poured down hard, slapping my face and blurring my vision. My clothes soaked through instantly, clinging uncomfortably to my skin. But I didn’t stop. I ran straight home in one breath.
Water dripped from my clothes as I shivered, teeth chattering. I knocked on the door.
No answer.
I knocked harder.
Still silence.
I exhaled raggedly and, exhausted, sank down against the door. My body felt weak, chills racing through me. A hand to my forehead told me I was burning up.
Just when I thought misery couldn’t get worse, I realized I probably had a fever.
Shen Fang wouldn’t open the door for me. Xu Ni wouldn’t care. I barely deserved to have the key to this house.
I was probably the most pathetic and useless of all the time travelers out there.
Leaning against the door, I drifted off into a faded sleep.
I had no idea how long passed before the door suddenly creaked open. Bathed in the hallway light, I spotted Xu Ni standing there in her nightgown, long hair loose.
Without hesitation, I barged inside.
I couldn’t help sneering.
"Never thought I’d see the day you actually open the door for me."
"I thought you wished I’d freeze out there."
Xu Ni said nothing. She simply shut the door and knelt to wipe the puddles on the floor.
Unlike Shen Fang’s hostile neglect, Xu Ni’s was different true indifference. As if I were a stranger. A ghost. Invisible. Unwanted.
So why did she ever need help from me?
"Xu Ni, have you ever, for once, stood up for me?"
"In this house, you soak up all the love, enjoy every privilege, yet have never spoken a single word to defend me."
"Are you proud of that? Having me stomped on, abused, ignored while you live like a little princess does that make you happy?"
"Do you hate me that much?"
Still silent, Xu Ni’s hands stilled.
I waited.
One second. Two seconds.
One minute. Two minutes.
The light in my eyes faded. I began to turn away.
Suddenly Xu Ni sprang up. Her towel dropped with a sharp thud.
Her arms trembled violently, veins strained as she suppressed a low, furious growl.
"Yes, I hate you. I hate you so much I want to destroy you."
"Xu Si, you’re a waste of space."
"When did your memories even begin? Six? Eight? Ten years old?"
"Mine at two."
"When you were stacking blocks and playing dolls, I was already reciting the entire Three Character Classic."
"Mom was so proud, called Dad right away to hear me recite."
"She begged Dad to come home, said I needed an IQ test."
"120 the results came back. High intelligence, among the top few."
"But Mom ignored that. She just thought she’d given birth to a genius."
"A genius needs genius training and education. She dreamed big for me."
"When I wanted candy, she said no. Geniuses don’t eat candy."
"Dad bought me two anyway. I ate the lychee flavored one and saved the strawberry for you."
"That was the last lollipop I ever had."
"Xu Si, how can you live so carelessly, so free and easy?"
"I begged you not to go out and play, to study and read with me."
"But you couldn’t focus; you couldn’t sit still. You’re worthless."
"You’re worthless because Mom beats you, scolds you, and abandons you."
"But I’m a genius."
"If I ever became worthless like you, I would kill myself."
"And she did."
Lightning ripped through the darkness, illuminating Xu Ni’s tear-streaked, bloodshot eyes.
She looked broken, lost, terrified.
A thunderclap exploded just inches from my ears.
A cold shiver ran from my fingertips through every bone.
"What crazy nonsense?"
"Who would hurt you? Shen Fang?"
Xu Ni staggered, wiping away tears.
"You don’t understand. You don’t understand anything."
"Have you ever lived in a room you couldn’t lock?"
"Where someone could silently appear behind you at any moment?"
"She can’t understand what’s in books, but she’ll randomly comment you’re too close, your posture’s bad, you can’t get distracted."
"You can’t relax for a second. Those eyes follow you everywhere, like a shadow or a curse."
"Have you ever tried to sleep while someone watches you?"
"Eyes open, and there’s someone standing by your bed."
"Wiping your sweat, tucking you in, holding your hand, or just staring silently."
"You are my everything. I have only you," she barely whispered.
"You have to work hard, never slack off, never fall behind. You have to be first. The best. My child has to be the best."
"Only if you do that will Dad come back. Only then will he stay. Otherwise, what will happen to us?"
"I’ll drag you to die with me."
She had emptied every ounce of strength to say this.
Leaning on the couch, she stood up again slowly, voice now calm.
"Mom took sleeping pills. She won’t wake up tonight."
"You came in on your own. None of this is my problem."
Her footsteps faltered as she floated back to her room like a ghost.
I slackened and slumped into a chair.
Some things, I no longer wanted to ask.
Including the words beneath the floorboards.
Chapter 03
*
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